Marrying young is not the end of my freedom. It means I want to travel and see the world, but with her by my side. It means I still like drinking in bars and dancing in clubs, but stumbling home with her at 2am and eating pizza in our underwear. It means I know that I want to kiss those lips every morning, and every night before bed. If you see marriage as the end of your ‘freedom’, you’re doing it wrong.
im using tweezers to get all the seeds out of a strawberry this is Extreme Procrastination
this was absolutely not worth the effort i regret doing it
You know all those wonderful Conservative parents who proceed to abandon, kick out, or cut off their children for any reason (including, but not limited to a child’s sexuality)?
Well here we go:
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8 (NKJV)
Eat it until she cums or don’t eat it at all.
- Me: would you still love me if I was 3 hundred pounds?
- Boyfriend: I would go into powerlifting so I could lift you onto my penis
felt like shit
realised I was being an idiot
got some food
felt a gazillion times better
moral of the story
"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"
good. stay the hell away from me.
good kisses are the ones that make your lips quiver with sensitivity, your skin tingle, and your stomach ache in the greatest possible way. the best kisses are the ones that leave all those things to linger, days after they have ended.
They better stay clear of the lettuce
IT TOOK ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO REALISE THE LETTUCE JOKE MEANT ICEBURG LETTUCE
"NO MUM GET OUT MY ROOM. NO. I KNOW THAT BOTTLE IS EMPTY. YES I KNOW. NOOO! PUT IT DOWN. PUT. IT. DOWN. I LIKE THAT BOTTLE THERE. I DON’T CARE THAT IT’S EMPTY. LEAVE MY ROOM PLEASE. NO STOP TOUCHING STUFF. OH MY GOD JUST LEEEAVVVVEEEEE."
[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
orphan black au where everything is the same except every time two clones meet each other reflection from mulan starts playing